


On That First Snow

by eleventhsign



Category: Produce 101 (TV), Wanna One (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-27
Updated: 2018-11-27
Packaged: 2019-09-01 08:24:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,866
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16761529
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/eleventhsign/pseuds/eleventhsign
Summary: It's been a year since Daniel and Sungwoon suddenly stopped talking, for good.





	On That First Snow

**Author's Note:**

> hi guys (uwu)
> 
> this is my first published work for nielwoon woop woop! ^*^ i got a bit inspired during the first snow in korea this year haha! it's a post-disbandment au and i'm feelin extra emo about it hehe i hope you all enjoy it <3

Daniel walks out the store alone with a warm coffee on his hand, contrasting the ambiance outside as he realizes, 'ah, it’s that time of the year again’. The snow are falling right above his head. He stuck out his hand to feel some of the snow falling.

Ever since he was a kid, he has always been fond of the idea of being able to play outside during the first snow since he lived in that region of Korea with the least snow every year. But a year ago happened and he is not very fond of the snow anymore.

As he walk on the busier streets in the city, he noticed kids here and there getting excited with snows, just as how he was in his younger days. And then he noticed a couple, and there's a sudden pang of sadness in his heart. He remembers how he was once in that state. Well, it wasn't exactly a proper relationship if he was being honest. Just something convenient for both him and the other one.

_His other one._

And that's when he started to walk faster. Back to his apartment where he now lives alone after of being away from his usual 10 housemates. Back to where he can ignore everything else just like he did over the past whole year.

***  
_2017_

_“Hyung, wake up.” the younger whispered as it was already way past midnight at that time._

_“Daniel, I told you I'm too tired to do this.” Sungwoon answered while still on his sleepy state, considering how Daniel is already ambushing him from his warm bed._

_“Don't be dramatic,” Daniel lightly chuckled, “And we both know you're the one who suggested this. Now move your ass and let's go!” And now Daniel puts a hand on his mouth, as he slightly got carried away and actually shouted._

_“Oh, Daniel. If only you knew how dumb and adorable you look at right now,” standing up from his bed while grabbing the nearest coat he can find that would be enough to give warmth on such a bitchass coldness outside. Curse Daniel and his effect on Sungwoon._

_They sneakily stepped outside the dorm, trying not to wake anyone, especially Jisung who will either tease them the next morning or yell at them to get back inside. Immediately, they were hit by the blowing winds outside. Sungwoon should be used to it by now really, considering he already lived on his hell of a cold country for his whole life now. But still, he immediately felt the cold run down his body, giving him shivers that he tried so hard to supress._

_Daniel, being the clingy younger brother he acts like towards Sungwoon, immediately puts his arms around the older one while they walk outside. It's times like this when Sungwoon just wants to sue the younger. He knows it means nothing to Daniel, who has always been affectionate to everyone. He wasn't anything special like his mind constantly thinks of. As much as he tried to deny it, those touches from his fellow member meant something else to him. And it doesn't help the fact that he is a weak bitch and they were walking outside during The First Snow, which, to be fair, was suggested by him in the first place. It was just a random thought he told Daniel, how 'great it might be if we sneak out when the first day of snow arrives'. He's shocked that Daniel even remembers. However he only told him to walk outside. Not walk and put your arms around me and act like we're a fucking couple sneaking out at midnight for romantic scenarios like this._

_At some point they stopped in the nearby park from their dorm and sat at the snow-covered bench, with Daniel still has his arm around Sungwoon. The younger has always been bolder when it comes to physical touches. He knows that Sungwoon looks at him like an annoying younger brother, nothing else and that there is no way in hell that the older would ever reciprocate whatever feelings he has inside. Well, it's not like he'll ever have the guts to say them out loud. He grabs the tiny hands of his hyung, who was obviously freezing at this point but is too nice to tolerate Daniel and his late night adventures. He absentmindedly caresses it, missing the expression on Sungwoon's face. The one that screams ‘you’re doing it again. things you don't realize that makes me fall for you deeper and here i am, letting you do it even more’_

_Sungwoon didn't even noticed how they literally had no conversation all throughout the walk to the park. Only short questions like 'Are you cold?’ or 'Isn't it beautiful’? while Daniel stares at him with such eyes that makes his knees weak. It always confuses him, how he and Daniel could bicker for hours when they were around others but once it was only the two of them, they either don't talk much or don't talk at all. It was full of physical touches and gazes and all sorts of flirting. You can't blame him in thinking there was something more when they do not act like usual around each other. Those touches and gazes seem more private and gentle. And every single damn time, Sungwoon just wants to get swallowed by the land._

_They admired the view a few minutes more and walked back home. It was apparent that Daniel was happy as his bright as a sun smile is out again. And Sungwoon thought that even if he gets cold tomorrow due to this, it would be worth it._

_As Sungwoon gets ready to be welcomed by the warmth that his bed has to offer, he felt someone poking him from the back. He didn't even have to look to know who is crazy enough to be awake at this ungodly hour._

_Daniel handed him a box. He narrowed his eyes at the younger and asked, “What the hell is this for?” while smiling, he obviously knows that a necklace or something similar and all that fancy shit is inside it._

_“Oh nothing, just consider it a first snow gift. I passed by a store last week and thought of you,” blushing slightly but Sungwoon won't even see that in the dark so it is fine, Daniel thought._

_“What? You're going to show off that you have more money than me now?” Sungwoon tries to joke around, but Daniel just stares at him and laughs lightly, “Anyway, thank you Mr. Nation's Pick,” Sungwoon winks at him while keeping the box at his bedside table._

_“Ah hyung! I told you to stop calling me that.” Daniel tries to whine at him, in which Sungwoon's mind betrays him when he thought 'cute.’ He didn't even freaking realize that he said it out loud. Daniel then turned into a giggling mess, teasing Sungwoon about him finally falling for his charms._

_'yea right’ Sungwoon thought, ‘if only you knew dumbass’_

_And finally Daniel walks away from Sungwoon's room, bidding a goodbye while still laughing at himself before he closes the door. It is now Sungwoon's turn to laugh at himself once he realizes the stupidity he just did. It's probably no big deal to Daniel, but he can't help but smile at himself while burying his face into the pillows._

_They will pretend like it didn't happen anyways._

***

Daniel woke up from his nap as he hears the blaring sound coming from his phone. He looks at the caller's name and was not even surprised that it was Jisung. He picked it up although he wasn't in the mood to talk right now.

“Hey hyung, what's up?” Daniel asked as he tried so hard to sound as polite as he possibly could.

“Oi! What do you mean 'what's up’? Didn't you read my messages on our semi-abandoned group chat?” the older almost shouted at the other line.

“What the fuck are you so loud for- and no. I haven't. Like you've said, it's semi-abandoned,” he reasons out, although the real reason is he is too chicken shit to see if a particular someone updates them about his life there. It's not like he entirely abandoned his friends whom he treated like a family for some time. He checks it every now and then whenever he has time but would scroll past once he recognizes an avatar of someone he avoids in the chatroom. And each of them is busy with their own thing now so it's not like it's a big deal.

“Ah shit,” the other groaned into the phone, “I knew it but why do I expect from our busiest nation's pick.” Okay, maybe Daniel did laugh a little at that. It's been a year since their contract was over and that nickname is still latched onto him.

“Anyways,” Jisung continued, “I messaged the kids and since we're all going to be busy by the end of December, I figured we should have a mini reunion on the first week next month.”

'Ah bitch. Great.’ Daniel thought bitterly. He should've seen that coming. This isn't the first time the group will have a reunion. After all he has met most of the members throughout the year when they somehow have the time. But none of those includes the eleven of them as a whole. He knows that he shouldn't be a bitch and turn down the offer just because he's a coward who wants to avoid Sungwoon. And the fans would love it, anyways.

“Alright, alright you got me,” he answered after a brief pause.

“Great! I thought you'd turn down because of some obvious reason. Anyway, you need to tell me about them. See you!” the oldest hangs up on him before he even got the chance to ask ‘what the fuck do you mean?’ But Jisung being Jisung, he knows that among them all he is bound to notice the tension the most. After all he knows Daniel for the longest time.

Shrugging the weird phone call he received just now, he continued on with the day, and hopefully the first week of December won't come too soon.

**

_2018_

_Over the past year, they had been even more intense than they ever were the year before. last year is full of lingering touches and gazes that lasted for more than the appropriate second, it is even more than that now._

_There were those times when Daniel would know that Sungwoon is tired. While all of them were, the elder is the type to keep the complaints from coming out of his mouth. Sure he has always been outspoken, always being direct to people he talks with, and is always unafraid to voice out his own opinions. But for some reasons, when it comes to something that pains himself, he would rather keep it inside._

_And so in those times, Daniel would try to carefully engage in an interaction with Sungwoon._

_Like in that time during their preparation for their first concert. He knows how tired Sungwoon was, from going to the jungle to shoot some show to practicing his solo stage non stop to recording another show where he needed to get his voice at its best condition. These endless schedules took a real toll on Sungwoon's health, but he never complains about it to anyone. Too bad though, Daniel always has his attention on his current favorite person._

_“Sungwoon hyung?” he carefully says as he enters the older's shared room with Minhyun. That night though, Sungwoon was whimpering out loud as his roommate is out on his own schedule._

_Sungwoon immediately stopped the noises, “Daniel? What do you need?” he spoke as if he weren't making sounds of a child in pain just now._

_“Hyung, I clearly heard you,” this time his voice is louder, “Where does it hurt?” he continued making his way into Sungwoon's bed while sitting in the small chair beside it._

_This time, Sungwoon doesn't even lie to Daniel anymore. Instead he just uttered a barely audible 'come here,’ in which of course, the younger happily complies and finally lays down on the bed beside his hyung. Sungwoon didn't answer his question and wrapped his arms around Daniel's torso, as his way of saying 'please stay here.’_

_They've done this far too many times. Daniel still remembers that time he slept on Sungwoon's room last March right on the day of their comeback for Boomerang because the something is bothering the elder. That night was also a turning point to Daniel, how protective he felt inside and how he wants to correct ever single one who is accusing Sungwoon of something he haven't done. But the only thing he could do was say assuring words that would hopefully comfort his hyung and they kept in a hugging position until the next morning, only to cuddle some more._

_As much as this stage of flirting is normal for them already, sometimes, Daniel just wonders whether Sungwoon feels the same. Sure, he wasn't the only one getting an exclusive hugs and cuddly moments with the second oldest but when Sungwoon does it with others, it's in public and he isn't particularly silent all throughout the time, as if he was on a private comfort zone for only the two of them. The taller boy thinks he was being delusional but he can't help it._

_Daniel was halted from his train of thoughts as Sungwoon began to speak, “My whole body is just in pain. I'm just tired of practice. But I am not worried at that, I'm more worried about the results,” he continued, “What if all of this end up in a unsatisfactory result?” crinkling his forehead as he looks up to Daniel, who had a worried expression written all over his face._

_He truly understands what Sungwoon feels like. The path they chose wasn't easy but they still did it because of their passion. Even before he got closer to Sungwoon, he already noticed that the man tends to overwork himself and is always worrying about the ending product. He always wanted it to be perfect._

_Daniel puts his palm gently on Sungwoon's cheek and said, “You don't have to worry all the time. I totally get you, but hyung, you have to understand that you're already more than enough.” he goes further and says, “Do you know that I always admired you for your skills? Your fans never get disappointed at you and I think I know why. You'll do great as always.” now with a smile on his face as he was saying it._

_Sungwoon began to laugh at himself when he started to tear up at that message Daniel just gave him. It was sweet and what he actually needed at the moment. Daniel chuckled lowly too, feeling shy at his not-so-subtle confession to Sungwoon about his elephant sized crush towards the older._

_“You know, that's what I really needed right now. Thank you my prince charming,” they now both laughed out loud even though Sungwoon meant every bit of it and Daniel feels like he has just been running from a marathon from how fast his heart was beating. He squeezed Sungwoon even more from his hug and starts to doze off. He knows that by morning, the first thing he'll ever see was a face of an angel beside him._

_The rest of the year went like that, Daniel's visit on Sungwoon and Minhyun's shared room frequented to the point that they almost swapped roommates now, Seongwu being with Minhyun and Daniel with Sungwoon. Everytime the other one of them is upset too, it became a lot easier to open up to each other and talk about what is bugging them and even in their happiest times, they found each other as the person whom they want to overshare everything with the most._

_Daniel would also be Sungwoon's hotel roommate occasionally while they were on tour. Even if they weren't roommates though, the other would knock at the other room where the older is resting with another member and sneak out for some late night adventure that would not last for longer than hour though because as much as they longed for one another, everything was pretty much very tiring too and even an hour of sleep would be precious already._

_During the day when everyone is looking, they would still be all over each other by either showing it through subtle touches, long stares, or random bursts of laughter in which only the two of them could understand a joke only by catching the eyes of the other one. It was a very couple-y thing, Daniel thought. He never actually had a male friend where he treats them the way he treats Sungwoon. As much as Daniel believes in love knows no gender, he was still very much afraid of his feelings. It was the first time he ever questioned his sexuality, but what he was so afraid of is what the people would think about it as they are a public figure._

_So yes, even if Sungwoon somehow miraculously feels the same way towards him, (although it was highly unlikely) he would probably push his hyung away, not out of disgust, but it would be the best for both of their careers._

_And it was convenient for him that way to safely daydream about how he and Sungwoon would be like if they were really together without having to harm anyone else on the process of doing it._

***

It has been the fastest week of Daniel's life. He has been dreading for the first week of December's weekend to come but here he is, standing in front of the mirror as he is readying himself to go out and meet his friends that he's missed a lot. But Daniel is not gonna lie and say that he's not nervous yet excited to see Sungwoon once again. It has been over a year since they've seen each other face to face, and not through Daniel sneaking on his SNS account to see what the older has been up to recently. He wonders if Sungwoon ever did the same to him and laughs lightly at the thought.

He texts a quick 'otw’ to Jisung before looking up the address of the place once more and driving there. It was only a 30-minute drive, which made Daniel even more terrified, he hoped that it would be at least an hour drive so he can compose himself for a longer period of time, but luck is clearly not on his side today. He wonders though, whose place it is this time since their gatherings happen most of the time on each member's newly bought house where they can tease each other on how much of a showoff they all are.

By the time he got there, three other cars were parked outside. It's most likely that the younger ones won't drive their own since they haven't got their license yet so he is guessing it could be Seongwu, Minhyun, and Jaehwan. He conveniently forget the fact that one of those cars could be Sungwoon's as he is one of the members who can actually drive just so he can calm down a little bit.

Daniel suddenly realized that he doesn't even know whose house this is. His heart raced at the possibility of it belonging to Sungwoon's, as he has never visited it before and the heavens above kept clowning him ever since the day started.

He called Jisung just to check whether his suspicions are real or not, “Hyung! I was just on my way now,” a lie, I'm already outside but just in case he needed to get away from the place as fast as possible, he continued, “and I'm wondering whose place are we staying at today? You know the address is not really familiar with me and I've visited five of our members’ houses already right?”

“Oh right, I forgot to tell you, we're at Sungwoon's right now,” he frozed. Jisung was already inside. And this is Sungwoon's house that he is currently looking at across the street right now. He was interrupted when Jisung spoke, “I didn't think you would actually come if I tell you, you know that right?” he got shocked at the sudden straightforwardness

“W-what?” he tried not to stutter, really.

“I'm not an idiot Daniel. Both you and him kept avoiding each other. He'll only come to small get together times when you're not there while you also do the same. Everyone has already seen each other except for the two of you,” he continued, “Whatever it is that happened between you and him, maybe it is time to fix it. Come on! It's fucking Christmas already!” he blasted through the phone and Daniel can't help but laugh out loud at how Jisung is totally acting like his mother right now.

“Anyways, see you soon! Don't text while driving I swear to God Daniel- last week there's this-” but was cut off when Daniel chuckled and said 'Okay mom, I know goodbye!’ before hanging up. He wasn't being rude, Jisung was just telling him a story he was so sure he already told him a few days ago and he is trying to give more time to himself and think inside his stupid car before actually knocking on that door that seems like a passage through hell to him right now.

Inside his mind, he was glad to know Sungwoon's address now just so he can be a creep and maybe drive there when he is missing his hyung again. Then the incident came back to him like it was as fresh as yesterday. He wasn't so sure how Sungwoon would react after what he'd done, the words he'd said, before finally abandoning him and pretending like they didn't even know each other.

I'm so fucking stupid I deserve to rot in hell, he helplessly thought as he continued to stare at the road for five more minutes before seeing another car stopping in front of Sungwoon's house. Jaehwan stepped outside and Daniel immediately get his ass out of his own car and greeting Jaehwan as if he hasn't been sitting there for more than ten minutes now.

“Jaehwan!” he shouted and the other smiled widely before hugging him. Now he feels safer going inside with somebody else rather than just himself being awkward as fuck in front of Sungwoon.

“Yo, what the hell are you doing outside? Were you waiting for me?” Jaehwan joked around.

“No, no, I was just waiting for someone else so we can go inside together,” he answered very honestly. Although Jaehwan did find that a little bit weird and even gave the side eyes look to Daniel, he just shrugs it off. He wasn't oblivious of what is happening between his same age friend and Sungwoon. Being one of the closest to Jisung, he had the perk to hear some gossip from their eldest hyung.

Jaehwan was the one who rings the doorbell, while Daniel stands behind him, who is so near into shitting his pants already even before actually meeting the face he so wants to see but also avoid.

There was a 'Wait a second!’ from the other side of the door and Daniel was pretty sure that it was Sungwoon's voice. All he could do is mutter fuck under his breath in which Jaehwan laughed at him, he didn't know why the fuck would the person in front him laugh at that but he figured that he might've noticed shit too, just like how Jisung did.

A couple of seconds passed and there were footsteps coming closer into the door before someone opens it for them, revealing a Ha Sungwoon that was smiling brightly to them. Jaehwan then hugged the second oldest and whined a teasing 'hyung i missed you so much i couldn't live properly without you’ in which Sungwoon shouts at him to get off before playfully smacking him in the head.

The bright atmosphere in front of Daniel made him smaller and smaller each second that has passed. When it was his turn to be greeted by his hyung who looked so incredibly cute right now with all his casual chilling-at-home clothes and black hair, there was a visible pause before Sungwoon shouted an 'eh-hey! you've made it!’ before hugging him like they didn't just ignored each other for the past whole year.

Daniel was silent all throughout the hugging time, and Sungwoon eventually became less bright too. Jaehwan had already gone upstairs to greet the others in there, evidently by the loud greetings that could be heard in there.

They were still in that motherfucking hug position, and Sungwoon was the first one to break the silence with a small 'I missed you.’ it was barely a whisper but Daniel could hear it loud and clear. Daniel might be a weakling but he could actually say an 'i missed you, too’ back at Sungwoon.

Sungwoon's attempt on making the mood lighter is now gone. As Daniel slowly pulls away to look at him directly in the eyes, it wasn't the bright, happy ones he saw earlier. It was a confused and sad one and he feels a tug in his heart. Daniel was now staring at his hyung's lips that he missed so much when they were interrupted by a doorbell. Sungwoon immediately pulls completely away to see who it is, which was Woojin, Daehwi, and Jihoon altogether in his frontdoor. More greetings were made that evening before it everyone finally arrived.

As the dinner ended, they played rock, paper, and scissors to make the losers wash the dishes. Seongwu and Minhyun were the ones who lost, much to Sungwoon's triumph while screaming, “Peasants! I told you there will come a day when you'll serve under me,” in a dramatic tone that made everyone laugh their asses off while the second oldest watch his two closest friends suffer from the punishment.

As the night gets later and later, the eleven of them talked even more on their life, complaining about anything and everything. Apparently some of the younger members are growing up now and starting to take interest in dating, which was then followed by Jisung's life advices on how to not get caught and not get their hearts broken, looking at me right after he said that. He clearly knows it, Daniel nervously thought to himself as he turned his head to look at Sungwoon, who was staring at him before looking away immediately.

The first ones to leave were the younger ones, who will have their lift with Jaehwan. As the others start bidding goodbye and an advance greeting of ‘Merry Christmas,’ the house was left with now only the four of them, Seongwu, Minhyun, Daniel, and Sungwoon. They all have the best relationship and is very comfortable with each other, that is, before Daniel and Sungwoon silently decided they will not talk to each other anymore.

No one prying into the topic of their sudden awkwardness towards each other. Daniel really enjoyed tonight despite being extra conscious of every moves he make inside the house of someone he has once hurted, and still very much love, although he never got to tell Sungwoon that part. He knows that by the end of the evening, he should be the last one to say goodbye to once and for all, say everything he has to say and apologize without anyone around them so that it wouldn't be awkward.

They dragged on longer into the conversation between their former roommates before the two finally bid goodbye, with Sungwoon throwing confused glances at Daniel when he noticed that the younger has no plans in getting the hell of that house. Seongwu even shouted, “Use protection, dummies!” before completely driving away

Great. That makes everything even more awkward. Thank you Ong Seongwu and your great mouth.

Sungwoon turns to him and asks, “Aren't you going yet?” before sitting on the couch in which Daniel followed him to sit beside his hyung.

“You know,” Daniel carefully started, “that i have something to say to you.” in return, Sungwoon just stared into his eyes and lets him continue what he had to say.

“I-I'm sorry that I suddenly just ignored you after that night. It was hard for me to face you, after saying things. I never meant any of them, I was just.. very scared if I'm being honest with you,” he lets out a huge sigh before continuing, “I haven't stopped thinking about you, although I know that you probably hate m-” he was stopped halfway by Sungwoon's mouth on his.

There was an initial shock on Daniel's part so he didn't get to react as fast as he wanted, and when Sungwoon noticed this he immediately pulled away, thinking Daniel must've been uncomfortable with that. Before he even began saying sorry, Daniel was already cupping his cheeks and looking at him with the eyes full of passion before pulling him in to kiss him even more.

And the world suddenly stops for the both of them, as Daniel continued kissing Sungwoon like it was the first time he ever did it. Alternating from nibbling his lower lip to biting it and continuing in letting their mouths and tongues dance in a slow pace. Maybe they missed each other so much that by the time they thought they were done, suddenly they wordlessly agreed to each other on continue kissing in Sungwoon's room.

They didn't stop until they're both out of breaths. They didn't stop until their clothes are now on the floor. They didn't stop until pleasure was written all over each other's face, Sungwoon burying his face into Daniel's chest just like how they were a year ago. Eventually they both dozed off, both equally as scared as this night might again, lead to next morning of them doing things that led to their abandonment of each other, just like how it ended last year.

***

_It was the next morning when Daniel woke up with Sungwoon in his arms. They were both too drunk last night that it led to this, although he knows that the influence of alcohol plays a significantly small part on why they slept together._

_Sungwoon then woke up, looking at the face beside him. Daniel tried hard not to smile at Sungwoon but it is almost impossible. He immediately put on the brightest smile he can make, as everything seems to be working out for them._

_Last night was, something else. They finally gave into temptation when Daniel just couldn't fight the urge and kiss the hell out of Sungwoon's sinfully moist and plump lips. One thing lead to another and here they are, limbs tangled around each other under the blankets._

_“Daniel,” the older one put a hand around his cheeks, “I think I really, really like you.” he stated and Daniel felt his heart jumped out of his chest at Sungwoon's sudden confession._

_“Since when, hyung?” he really needed to know or he might die right there and then._

_Sungwoon looks up at the ceiling, as if he was trying to recall when exactly, and answered, “I think, a turning point for me was when we walked out to the park on the first snow day, do you remember that?” he smiled while reminiscing, “And then you acting like I'm your boyfriend when you suddenly just gives out random gifts for me. I'm a weak bitch you know?” pointing at himself while pouting and Daniel laughed at how adorable the sight in front of him was._

_“But then you didn't just stop there,” he stared as if he was looking right through Daniel's soul, “You always made me feel better when days are rough, always looking out for me, and just being my best person,” he smiled lightly with eyes lazily looking at Daniel's hand while he plays with it._

_Sungwoon has always been the one who is more comfortable at telling what exactly is on his mind at the moment and that made Daniel even softer, knowing the fact that everything he just heard right now was nothing but the truth, and he can't help but not say anything and just kiss Sungwoon gently. At first it was a light peck until the older pushed back even more with so much need._

_Daniel then wrapped his arms around Sungwoon's waist, kissing and touching everywhere he could, from his lips, to his forehead, to his cheeks, to his nose, and to his goddamn neck that the younger just loves putting this mouth into. They stopped after their morning heavy makeout session and headed out of Sungwoon's rented apartment and go do their duties as the nation's boygroup members._

_Around that time, it was on the last week ot November. It was probably one of the busiest times, as they just released their final album and is preparing for the year-end award shows. But despite that, Sungwoon and Daniel still finds a way to satisfy each other's craving to touch at nights when they just had the urge on doing it. Silently though, and only when their roommates aren't at their dorm, which was a common occurence for Sungwoon and Minhyun's room as the fox-like guy has been busy going back and forth of his new own apartment, his original company, and the dorm._

_There will also be times when they'd just sneak out like how they did during last year's first snow, going down busy streets with masks on, sometimes just walking around with their fingers intertwined, and once going out for a movie, with Daniel who passed out on his seat and Sungwoon laughing at him and focusing more on his asleep state even more than the whole film._

_Everything was fine._

_They thought it would last like that, disbandment wasn't even become a problem as Sungwoon somehow thinks he'll still be able to contact Daniel outside work._

_But it all changed at one night._

_One week before their concert on the last week of December, everyone is extra tired through all the preparations they were making for the last time._

_Daniel has been thinking of confronting Sungwoon and telling him to stop whatever it is they're doing. They never labeled themselves but Daniel would be kidding if he says that they are just bros helping bros. Sungwoon has told Daniel himself that he likes him, and as much as Daniel does feel the same, he never said it. He vowed to himself that if ever the older confesses, he would tell him to go away yet that clearly didn't happen._

_But he really needs to do it now. He tries to convinces himself that it would be better for the both of them, Sungwoon could focus on his career next year without having to worry how to contact Daniel every single day._

_It is for the best._

_At least that's what Daniel thinks._

_He texted Sungwoon a quick ‘meet me at the the playground.’ and not even a minute later, he was met by a tiny figure still in his pyjamas, smiling up at him and asking, “What is it now? It's already past midnight,” he tries to tell in a hushed tone._

_Daniel fights the urge to just peck him on the lips and say bullshit things like, 'nothing i just missed you’ but he needed to set things straight. It's now or never._

_“Hyung, I think we need to stop doing whatever it is that we are right now,” he bravely states._

_“What?” Sungwoon grabs both of his hands, “Hello? May I speak to Kang Daniel please?” as much as he did try to joke around, there was an apparent nervousness in his voice._

_Daniel quickly removed himself from Sungwoon's grip and puts a hand on his forehead, “I said let's stop it. I'm not happy anymore,” that's a big fat lie, but if hurting words are the only way to make him go away for the best, then he's willing to do it._

_There was a long pause, until the words that Daniel said sinked into Sungwoon like a knife just stabbed him on his chest, “Do you know how unfair you sound right now?” and heck, he furiously dries the tears in his eyes. That was one of the rare times Daniel ever saw Sungwoon cry and he wanted to curse himself and take it all back but again, it was for the best._

_“Fine. You should've told me sooner, not now when I almost expected that you might finally say it back too,” he runs back into his dorm and Daniel the fool was left outside. Huh, he thinks. So Sungwoon did realized that he never said the “i like you, too” back._

_And just like that, they avoid each other._

_Until they finally held their last concerts._

_Until they finally come to an end of a contract._

_Until they finally won't see each other everyday again._

***

Sungwoon woke up the next morning with the same man who he needs to hate but can't bring himself to do it. And to make things even worse, he gave in to temptation again and didn't even think of the consequences of last night's events.

Just like that, he let Daniel win again.

A little later, Daniel opens his eyes to see Sungwoon looking at him with such sad eyes that he could clearly see even from his drowsy state. It has always been like this even back in the days, Sungwoon is always the first one to wake up and damn, did that make the younger's heart feel nostalgic as fuck in such an early morning.

“Good morning,” Sungwoon starts, “You can always go back home whenever you want,” he starts to stand up from his bed before Daniel pulls him by the waist tightly, preventing him from going anywhere else right now.

“Hyung,” Daniel couldn't think straight right now so he says what he needed to get out of his chest, “I love you,” he says.

Sungwoon chuckled lightly, “I don't think you're sure of the things you're saying right now,” he now turns to Daniel with a serious expression on his face, “Go say that to someone you're not afraid of being with.”

Daniel only stubbornly tightens his grip on Sungwoon even more, “Can you please hear me out?” he asks, if Sungwoon says no, he'll take his queue and finally walk out the door. But the older one just looks at him, as if he was telling him to go on despite being hurt.

“I just thought that doing that would be the best for both of us. I know how you always worry about me. I can't handle the thought of you going out of your way to always check on me when you could be focusing more on your career instead of me,” Daniel continues, “and although it did crush me to hurt you just so we can both move on from each other, I had to do it, you know?

“I know how unfair I thought of it. I only thought of what was best for me, I didn't even considered your feelings,” he says while staring at Sungwoon, “So, I just wanted to say that I am so sorry for everything. I didn't know how to approach you after doing it. And i'm sorry for that.”

Sungwoon had a momentary pause, before he says, “Do you know that instead of making me focus, I ask myself everyday where the hell did we go wrong?” he bitterly laughs, “I understand where you're coming from Daniel. It's hilarious. I should be hating you right now but I can't bring myself to do it,” his voice cracked.

“I told you before that I liked you. But seeing how much of a fool I still am right now, I think I actually love you,” he closes his eyes as he finished saying those words. He then felt a soft pair of lips on his right now, and this time, Sungwoon doesn't have enough energy to fight back.

“I am so sorry,” Daniel says in between kisses, and now the both of them are looking like fools while tearing up at the soft liplocking moment.

“Can we please give it a try again?” Daniel asks carefully, this time with his puppy eyes that Sungwoon just can't resist. He nods furiously before continuing to kiss Daniel back with just as much passion.

“I promise to not hurt you anymore,” the younger one says. That was all it takes for Sungwoon to feel reassured even if others think he is a fool for accepting him back easily. This is exactly what his heart yearns for, and it was worth giving a try for one more time.

This Christmas and to more years to come, they both hope that they'd always have each other's arms, being the only warmth they both need in the middle of the winter.

**Author's Note:**

> thank you for reading! please leave your thoughts below >3<


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